User blog:CrusherKitty/Jacob Laysedi Review
Right, I know this is an adopt, I don't know how much of this character's influence is from you, or from Spyro, but I'm going to go as if it's a normal character regardless, not been adopted by any users, nothing. That set? Lets' go. BioEdit Jacob Laysedi is a purple rat, a decendant of Rufus Laysedi, (Lay- seh- dee.) who discovered the planet Xutov, (Ex- you- tov.) Whoa, is Rufus on the wiki? I kinda wanna know more about Rufus now, but whatever. he used to be the type of person that is always polite and is rarely seen not smiling, all of that changed, when he had his 13th birthday, he ended up getting chaught in the middle of a store robbery, he was innocent but no-one ever believed him. He was caught in the middle of a store robbery? Eh? And no one believed him. First, we need more details on what happened. Was there a shattered window, a unlocked door? What time of day, was the store closed? Ay, this part is mostly the basis for his character and for such a big hole in the plot, then this character could just completely falsely based. Also, no-one believed a 13 year old didn't rob a store? Mobius has just as much technology as this world, if not, better, so I am not willing to believe they couldn't prove this poor little pre-teen mouse's innocence. What happened in the robbery? Who was the true culprit? Surely the owner of the store was a witness? If this was when the store was closed and he was in the store, that's breaking and entering, he was guilty. Right. Right, right, right. I kinda just imagine a guy holding up this cashier at gunpoint with Jacob at the back of the store, cowering or something, then when the dude holding up the casheir hears sirens in the distance and then legs it, when the cops enter the store, seeing Jacob the only one in there and just arresting this little pre-teen mouse. WOW. I give myself the weirdest mental imagery. When he turned 14 he was released, being in prizon was the beggining of the worst, he got home and his parents ignored him, he couldn't show his face in his home town, one day he ran away and it continues from there. Also, at the age of 14 you cannot go to prison. Don't you go to something like a juvenile facility where the people there are of similar age? It wouldn't be as bad. We need more details on what happened in prison, this is just like the store robbery hole! We need more info! Dylan bby plz! Typical story. Kid runs off and then stuff begins. Eeeeeeeeeeh... PersonalityEdit Jacob Laysedi is a pretty sociable mouse he dosn't like to let his friends down and trys to stay calm. When frustrated he dosn't say much, when he dose its a shout and full of insults, he dosen't care when his friends are let down by him. When he is sad he dosen't speak much, he only speaks to his friends when sad. He likes to try something new when he can. Mm, I guess this is fair. Just more development bby, more setting out, more expansion. Check the grammar and spelling too. People met. (That are on the wiki)Edit 'Best Friend'Edit Cyndriz the Cat - After they met in Cyndriz: The Survival they quickly became friends and would soon go on some crazy adventures, Jacob takes Cyndriz's side most of the time but if he is turning his back on his friends, including himself, he will try to change his mind. He dosn't think Cyndriz is a bad guy and is happy to fight along side him. This is just here because Cyndriz is your character isn't he and you wanted plot relevance? Is that it? Not necessarily a bad thing, just make sure you handle it right mkay? Mkay. 'Friends'Edit None on the wiki. 'Enemys'Edit Splash - When Jacob first encountered Splash the two instantly hated one another. Splash likes to get under Jacobs skin by calling him "Cyndriz's sidekick." Jacob will take any oppertunity to attack him. Wat. They meet each other, they hate each other. No basis. Nothin'? Okay... So, Splash just does a bit of teasing and then Jacob just attacks him? No wonder this guy went to prison, he's a bit of a psycho if he takes opportunities to attack people he doesn't like! Or does this date back to the whole 'Prison was so terrible for me!' thing? Probably... 'Rivals'Edit Appearances.Edit Cyndriz: The survival. Sonic the Hedgehog Paradox Abilitys.Edit He dosen't have any 'elemental' or 'magical' powers but he... *...has some boxing talent. *...is good at climbing. *...knows how to use a bow and arrow like a professional. Yay! Character balance! Nothing overpowere, fair enough *Claps enthusiastically*! While I don't have problems with characters with powers, it's sometimes nice to see a character without... Even if he is a little poorly executed. TriviaEdit *Jacob wes created by SpyroBiel and adopted by TheRealDylanator. *His first design featured spikey hair, normal white gloves and stylized sneakers with the current cuff design, a more traditional muzzle, and a bald tail. Onto the final scores! Just check a bit of grammar and spelling, most of it's correct, just be careful bby. I give Jacob a 4/10. Like Cyndriz, he needs development. He has a poorly, not very well thought out back story, but he is balanced. He has potential, show us what'cha got Dylan lad! Category:Blog posts